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时间:2019-05-23 来源:子力行之网


  英语简短幽默笑话:the important of a second language

  A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.

  Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."


  英语简短幽默笑话:Easy or Not

  Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning".

  "Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!"




  One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.All the students began to wri癫痫病夜间发作急救措施te except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer.


  英语简短幽默笑话:A Life for a Life(以“命”抵命)

  The English author,Richard Savage,was once living in London in great poverty.In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life,but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops,and Savage was living from hand tomouth.As a result of his lack of food he became very ill,butafter a time,owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him,he got well again.After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it.The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. But still no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money.Inthe end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment,saying to Savage,“You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.” “I agree,” said Savage,“that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”With these words he handed to him two v东营癫痫病治疗贵吗olumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.

  英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活,为了赚几个钱,他曾写了有关他自己生平的。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本,萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物,他病得很厉害。后来,由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术,他才又恢复了。过了一两个星期之后,医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单,但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单,但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后,他又送来帐单要钱。最后,医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中,对他说:“你明白,你是欠我一条命的,我希望你有所报答。” “是的,”萨维奇说,“我是欠你一条命,为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答,我将把我的命给你。” 说着这番话,萨维奇递给医生两卷书,名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。

  英语简短幽默笑话:What Was It She Wanted?

  A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No,ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified,the manager came runningover to the customer and said,“Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside:“Never, never, never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.

  一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说:“不,夫人,这会儿没有,一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说:“当然,马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边:“千万,千万,千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货,货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?” “雨,”店员说。

  英语简短幽默笑话:A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉

  A preacher is buying a parrot

  Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.

  Oh absolutely. Its a religiou患上癫痫病的患者能不能开车呢?s parrot, the storekeeper assures him.

  Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.

  Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

  I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.







  英语简短幽默笑话:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂

  "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

  "No!" the children all answered.

  "If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

  Again, the answer was, "No!"

  "Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"

  A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

  “如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。



  回答还是:“不能!”“好吧, ”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”


  英语简短幽默笑话:I Want Her to go Nuts

  Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

  "But you're not wearing any of those things."

  "I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."





  What Are The Two s?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear,” said the old lady,“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that? “Why,sure,Granny,”said the girl.“What are the two words?”

  一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。“我亲爱的,”老夫人说:“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’,另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗?” “噢,当然,奶奶。”女孩说:“是哪两个词?”